13th Feb 2oo3 : 3AM
I was on my way to the district hospital... Not that i was hurt enough to be hospitalised.. But it was planned too.. being hospitalised means it gets published in the newspapers.. and being published in the newspapers meant that it was going to be a case lodged with the cops
I knew why they did to me... I also knew who did it to me... but with the cops everything changed... the situations that lead to the assault on me.. and also the names who lead the assault on me... why the hell would i have to complaint against a looser who was in his 30ies when most of his class-mates are hardly outta their teens... a looser who was good at nothing and wanted to prove to himself and all the ones around that he is some1 by spreading terror on hapless kids... or why shud i complain against another looser who thought that the only way to get noticed with the babes in college was by being with the old looser and start to flex his non-existent muscles? Well the duo did attain their moment of glory... they did get a lotta attention... and i am happy they did... if they dint, i am sure they have never made peace with themselves.
Well we dint want to lodge complaint against these loosers.. their fates are etched in stone... We wanted to make them weak. They were too strong for us. They had policitical parties backing them. And we were a bunch of kids who have not yet exercised our franchisee in the democracy... And there were many in their clan too.. We had to target ones like us. Those ones for whom their Pop's words were the last. We have used the sword first, and now we had to use the pen. A FiR with their names would help. So the old fat looser and the fair thin looser were not in the chargesheet. Their names were replaced by people who were as scared as I was about politics and cops and blood.
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
Monday, 22 June 2009
My room part 3
My room part 3
Feb 13th 2003 : 2 AM
For some reason or the other the Valentine's week in my college's history have been a very eventful one. No. Not in a good way, where you find love in the air and red roses all around. But you could find red, bloody hostel rooms and college veranda's. And the 3rd valentine's week of the new millenium had my blood on the hostel walls and the floors.
I would be lieing to you if I told you that I did not expect it, just before I went to bed that night. But I have no regrets. I shed my blood for a noble cause. If I were given a chance again I would take it again. But this time it would have been with a better plan to not only shed my blood. But also to make sure the blood I really wanted get spilled. It is only a slight regret for me that the ones who we were supposed to get hit that night managed to escape. But our message went out as we wanted. You mess with us anymore, someone from your clan will pay. And I am sure that this is one of the reasons that we never ever really faced any direct threats. Whoever wanted to mess with us did think twice before they did so. And blood on the floor, well it was spilled for a cause.
My room part 2
Well, all of you might have seen my room in this blog before. I had promised you a new story, next time you visited the place.... and may be many of you might have visited this place a lotta times but not yet find anything exciting about my room. Well if you have been waiting for a new story here is one, and i am sure this won't disappoint you. Cos this is a tell-all tale.
Feb 2003
Well i have been graduated to the 6th sem of my course. Thanx to the fact there are no year-outs in our university, or else I wud still be doing my 1st semester. And more than 2 calendar years in college meant we are one of the senior-most guys in college and almost everything we did and dint do is known to the college authorities and the juniors. Good things are added up wid a lotta masala to sound how kool or how good we are.. and bad things too are added with masala to taste better too...
So a score of 60 odd in M2 in my 1st sem was hailed with applause frm all over the junior community and by the time it reached the ears of 3rd person i was the topper or close to topper in M2 frm my batch.... wow doesnt that sound spicy... a guy who has 17 supplementary papers by the time the 4th sem results are out was the topper in M2 paper from his batch... heheh ;)
And this applied to my seniors too... I used to hear a lotta stories.. some of them true... and most of them exaggerated!!!
And you know if light Grey things are seen as pure white.... hw wud dark grey things be seen? Pitch black!!! well quite close... A mere ragging of a slut who bloody screwed around wid a close aide of mine and then asked him 2 jack-off wud attain the heights of Virgin Mary from day two and I... well poor me!!!
And I, Aint no Jesus Christ. Aint no Satan. i am just me. Not black. Not white. Just like any of you, another shade of grey. How grey I really am... well it depends on how you wanna see it...
My Room to be contd....
Feb 13th 2003 : 2 AM
For some reason or the other the Valentine's week in my college's history have been a very eventful one. No. Not in a good way, where you find love in the air and red roses all around. But you could find red, bloody hostel rooms and college veranda's. And the 3rd valentine's week of the new millenium had my blood on the hostel walls and the floors.
I would be lieing to you if I told you that I did not expect it, just before I went to bed that night. But I have no regrets. I shed my blood for a noble cause. If I were given a chance again I would take it again. But this time it would have been with a better plan to not only shed my blood. But also to make sure the blood I really wanted get spilled. It is only a slight regret for me that the ones who we were supposed to get hit that night managed to escape. But our message went out as we wanted. You mess with us anymore, someone from your clan will pay. And I am sure that this is one of the reasons that we never ever really faced any direct threats. Whoever wanted to mess with us did think twice before they did so. And blood on the floor, well it was spilled for a cause.
My room part 2
Well, all of you might have seen my room in this blog before. I had promised you a new story, next time you visited the place.... and may be many of you might have visited this place a lotta times but not yet find anything exciting about my room. Well if you have been waiting for a new story here is one, and i am sure this won't disappoint you. Cos this is a tell-all tale.
Feb 2003
Well i have been graduated to the 6th sem of my course. Thanx to the fact there are no year-outs in our university, or else I wud still be doing my 1st semester. And more than 2 calendar years in college meant we are one of the senior-most guys in college and almost everything we did and dint do is known to the college authorities and the juniors. Good things are added up wid a lotta masala to sound how kool or how good we are.. and bad things too are added with masala to taste better too...
So a score of 60 odd in M2 in my 1st sem was hailed with applause frm all over the junior community and by the time it reached the ears of 3rd person i was the topper or close to topper in M2 frm my batch.... wow doesnt that sound spicy... a guy who has 17 supplementary papers by the time the 4th sem results are out was the topper in M2 paper from his batch... heheh ;)
And this applied to my seniors too... I used to hear a lotta stories.. some of them true... and most of them exaggerated!!!
And you know if light Grey things are seen as pure white.... hw wud dark grey things be seen? Pitch black!!! well quite close... A mere ragging of a slut who bloody screwed around wid a close aide of mine and then asked him 2 jack-off wud attain the heights of Virgin Mary from day two and I... well poor me!!!
And I, Aint no Jesus Christ. Aint no Satan. i am just me. Not black. Not white. Just like any of you, another shade of grey. How grey I really am... well it depends on how you wanna see it...
My Room to be contd....
Sunday, 21 June 2009
Monday, 15 June 2009
The Fear
The other day i was watching the movie 'The Apocalypto'. It was not the first time I have watched it. But the first time I was enjoying the movie so much that I didn't see the message.
The message of how fear can destroy you and how fearlessness can bring you closer to ur goals.
Yes. Dhar subh ko lakta hai. Magar Dhar ke aage jeet hai. No. This not a promo of a soft-drink. This is just your life.
In the movie the protagonist intially tries to run away from facing his fears. He runs fast enough to stay away from it for a while. But finally he is faced with two fears of his on either side and he overcomes one of it(jumping down a huge waterfall to escape from the hands of his chasers)
After he overcomes the lesser of his fears it gives him the confidence to face his greater fear. 'And that is some message'.
Not all of us are blessed with courage of facing our fears. But sometimes life pushes you to the corner that you have to make a choice. A choice between devil and the deep blue sea. A choice btw a rock and a hard place. A choice. That is what you have to take. And if it does not kill you, you will forever be stronger.
Fear is nothing but self-doubt. Fear of failure will take you to failure. Yesterday I was watching a cricket match between India and England. India were the defending champions of the T20 World Cup ( a trophy the won with fearless cricket) and was in danger of elimination. It was a do-or-die match for them. Loose and they are out of the tournament. A pre-tournament favourites they had harldy played any tough matches to be instill any confidence in their doubting minds.
Set a modest target to chase, India was peppered with a lot of short-pitch bowling which was initimidating. I could see the fear in their eyes. And the whole world saw it when the 2nd wicket fell and a novice (Ravindra Jadeja) was send in to bat instead of the in-form batsman (Yuvraj Singh). The novice was to counter short-pitch bowling by blocking instead of Yuvraj. For what if Yuvi might fail during the hostile spell of bowling.
Fear of failure. It failed them. Two years earlier, under the same management, a team of youth who had no fear of failure (since they were never expected to win) lifted the trophy and two years hence it will be the same if they don't counter the fear.
Fear, it does not prevent you from dying. It just prevents you from living!!!
The message of how fear can destroy you and how fearlessness can bring you closer to ur goals.
Yes. Dhar subh ko lakta hai. Magar Dhar ke aage jeet hai. No. This not a promo of a soft-drink. This is just your life.
In the movie the protagonist intially tries to run away from facing his fears. He runs fast enough to stay away from it for a while. But finally he is faced with two fears of his on either side and he overcomes one of it(jumping down a huge waterfall to escape from the hands of his chasers)
After he overcomes the lesser of his fears it gives him the confidence to face his greater fear. 'And that is some message'.
Not all of us are blessed with courage of facing our fears. But sometimes life pushes you to the corner that you have to make a choice. A choice between devil and the deep blue sea. A choice btw a rock and a hard place. A choice. That is what you have to take. And if it does not kill you, you will forever be stronger.
Fear is nothing but self-doubt. Fear of failure will take you to failure. Yesterday I was watching a cricket match between India and England. India were the defending champions of the T20 World Cup ( a trophy the won with fearless cricket) and was in danger of elimination. It was a do-or-die match for them. Loose and they are out of the tournament. A pre-tournament favourites they had harldy played any tough matches to be instill any confidence in their doubting minds.
Set a modest target to chase, India was peppered with a lot of short-pitch bowling which was initimidating. I could see the fear in their eyes. And the whole world saw it when the 2nd wicket fell and a novice (Ravindra Jadeja) was send in to bat instead of the in-form batsman (Yuvraj Singh). The novice was to counter short-pitch bowling by blocking instead of Yuvraj. For what if Yuvi might fail during the hostile spell of bowling.
Fear of failure. It failed them. Two years earlier, under the same management, a team of youth who had no fear of failure (since they were never expected to win) lifted the trophy and two years hence it will be the same if they don't counter the fear.
Fear, it does not prevent you from dying. It just prevents you from living!!!
Wednesday, 25 June 2008
LBS Diaries
All these poems and articles under the LBS diaries have been written sometime between Feb 2001 - March 2004
Who are you? (this probably the most spontaneous writing i have ever made and is my favourite poems of all... read and enjoy)
If you can tell your friend or foe,
By the holy book he reads,
You are smatter than I am,
If you can heal his wound,
By your wounds by words of apology,
Your words can heal but mine can't!!!
If you feed his hunger,
By a penny,
Your pennies are gold but mine ain't,
You are smater than me,
Your words can heal but mine can't,
Your pennies are gold but mine ain't
But I am God, Who are you???
Never, Never....
I swear i'll never let you know.
Never, wanna let myself knwthat I'm cheating on you..
Words can't justify what am doing..
And neither can reason.
But, swear I'm burning inside.
Cos i am cheating on you.
Always, always....
I am stuck upon myself
To find a reason to whyI'm letting you down.
I'm letting my soul part.
Do I wanna let you know
Or kill my conscience now,
To believe I am doing no wrong!!!
And now I'm finding a way to how,
find myself in peace.
To sleep once again.
I'm gonna part my half.
I'll part you cos i love.
So tht i am cheating you no more.
I Love you... I'll Kill you....
Self-Destruction : Dedicated to my inspiration Love
I taste the forbidden fruit,
Ya! it tastes good, it tastes true.
Taste I now - the fruit - the guilt.
Guilt - the fruit of the heart- the daemon
Followed my heart - followed the daemon.
Swore I 'Follow not again... follow the daemon'
Bring thee yet another fruit,
Think i again... tempting me again.
Resist I can't, just once more I take.
Follow now - my last suit.
Head i listen to, heart that speaks.
Head speaks sense, heart spells death.
Death, I am ready to taste,
But part I not my heart's - the daemon's will.
Taste I my death, taste i my fall.
Take I can't, take i no more
Retrace my path, re-write my fate.
Had i one last chance.
But I am left with no more!!!
LBS diaries to be contd.....
Who are you? (this probably the most spontaneous writing i have ever made and is my favourite poems of all... read and enjoy)
If you can tell your friend or foe,
By the holy book he reads,
You are smatter than I am,
If you can heal his wound,
By your wounds by words of apology,
Your words can heal but mine can't!!!
If you feed his hunger,
By a penny,
Your pennies are gold but mine ain't,
You are smater than me,
Your words can heal but mine can't,
Your pennies are gold but mine ain't
But I am God, Who are you???
30 Mins of Darkness
I have always been a very optimistic person, but thats not the only reason why I believe we all need to thank our state govt for the special gift it has bestowed upon us - Load shedding. 30 Mins of Darkness - Uninterrupted.
No do not be mislead. This aint your average boring article on politics. This is about darkness, about light, about black, about white and everything in between.
In the hustles and tussles of life we tend to overlook so many beautiful things. Small - but the basic things, the mother nature has gifted us. Like all things which come free, these beautiful and often unique things takes a back seat in our lives. Thats where load shedding comes to our rescue. During this half an hour we forget(at least try to) the busy life. The fasten your seat belts kinda rides. We take a break from the run to reach the finish line.
It is now, that we have to step outside our concrete jungles and smell the earth, caress the breeze and dance in the moonlight. It is now, that we have re-group ourselves, re-arrange our lives, re-think our deeds, re-charge our batteries and push on. It is that half an hour for introspections, for apologies, for kind words and all those small things in life that you never used to care for. It is now that you can be re-born as a child.
If you haven't yet enjoyed this divine 30 mins, it is high time that you do it. It is time you stop running. It is time you stop chasing. It is time that you sit back and relax.
Don't for God's sake - light up a candle and continue on your assignments. Don't for God's sake buy yourself an inverter and go on watching your stupid routine of mega serials.
It is high time you see light in the dark. Light that blinds the darkness. To re-vision our lives. To vision our walk (or should i say the CHASE) thus far. It is all in black and white. Well 30 mins of darkness or 30 mins of light... I am to re-think on the title.
I Love you, I will kill you...Never, Never....
I swear i'll never let you know.
Never, wanna let myself knwthat I'm cheating on you..
Words can't justify what am doing..
And neither can reason.
But, swear I'm burning inside.
Cos i am cheating on you.
Always, always....
I am stuck upon myself
To find a reason to whyI'm letting you down.
I'm letting my soul part.
Do I wanna let you know
Or kill my conscience now,
To believe I am doing no wrong!!!
And now I'm finding a way to how,
find myself in peace.
To sleep once again.
I'm gonna part my half.
I'll part you cos i love.
So tht i am cheating you no more.
I Love you... I'll Kill you....
Self-Destruction : Dedicated to my inspiration Love
I taste the forbidden fruit,
Ya! it tastes good, it tastes true.
Taste I now - the fruit - the guilt.
Guilt - the fruit of the heart- the daemon
Followed my heart - followed the daemon.
Swore I 'Follow not again... follow the daemon'
Bring thee yet another fruit,
Think i again... tempting me again.
Resist I can't, just once more I take.
Follow now - my last suit.
Head i listen to, heart that speaks.
Head speaks sense, heart spells death.
Death, I am ready to taste,
But part I not my heart's - the daemon's will.
Taste I my death, taste i my fall.
Take I can't, take i no more
Retrace my path, re-write my fate.
Had i one last chance.
But I am left with no more!!!
LBS diaries to be contd.....
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